So I’ve finally decided to post something really personal. Putting my opinion out here is kinda masochistic. hear me out.
TW: Some swearing
I’ve always been on the fence about gender equality/feminism/men’s rights, the whole schtick.
I always had an amazon complex. I thought women were more beautiful, more capable, smarter and even better biologically built than men were. Women are better caretakers, better at sports and better at everything in my mind and other women assured me of that. That is why I seem to realize with feminism, despite talk of “equality for all” and “we like men too”, there is still a superiority complex and inherent disgust, if not distrust, of men.
Reading modern feminist thoughts and the whole “misandry joke” thing I felt like a true feminist and it reassured my of my feelings of superiority. My disgust of men and glorification of women was completely right, that my paranoia of getting raped or groped walking down the street was perfectly natural. YEAH DOWN WITH MEN!
Often the hype around rape culture incites the thought that men are much more capable of rape and violence than genuine love and that women are simply wonderful vulnerable creatures waiting to be victimized. This is leading many a feminist to the conclusion that “men cannot be raped! (and/or raped by women)” or it’s just not worth considering what happens to men, if they get raped, they deserve it. Men are just so powerful-they are not capable of being raped, and even if they were, they’re so privileged-they can get over it!
However I liked feminism, I felt like there was no real equality and modern feminism at its core was about women’s issues- not equality. Take for instance, reproductive rights. Despite the fact that it takes both a man and a woman to produce a child (or..at least a sperm and an egg), and that child has equal parts of the two people’s DNA-it is the woman’s (and the woman’s ONLY) decision to keep the pregnancy, take full custody of the child if anything happens, and take care of the child-in the pro-choice/feminist view.
Men should not be allowed in the decision process, because as men- they don’t have feelings or form attachments to their own offspring(!) and even if they do, they don’t carry the child so in the end their feelings, their commitment, their love for their offspring doesn’t matter because as implied before, men are just not capable of loving the way a woman can. Their support is not needed and not wanted.
This makes pregnancy a sort of burden that only women are cursed to bear. Puzzlingly, other times pregnancy is used by feminists as the “power of women” to show how superior women are-we can create and nurture life inside of us-you men can only destroy it or abandon it. Motherhood is both rejected and embraced at the same time!
Another thing that bothered me is feminist censorship. The word “slut” is somehow reclaimed but the word “bitch” is evil. Why?? Bitch has become a sort of affectionate term for a powerful woman, and it was never really that bad in the first place, you could take pride in being a bitch. But slut, well it was never positive. Why censor a word women like to use and elevate another? And why the hate on rape jokes? It’s strange because the act itself is not funny. No one thinks actual rape itself is funny, no one wants to commit the act after hearing a joke about it. When we joke about something, we don’t reference the act itself, we reference a theoretical kind of situation or nothing at all. We laugh at something- mock it- because it’s nonsensical-not because it’s real and not because we like it.
And the kicker: I don’t believe in patriarchy. Not the system itself, just the mythical term that feminism has popularized. WHAT is it, exactly? Is it all men, collectively? Is it male leaders or men in power? Is it all fathers, grandfathers, and great-grandfathers and so on? Is it men that have done bad things and the people that support them? I don’t know. As far as the feminist doctrine goes, I can only define it as the ominous male power that caused all inequality in the world. The literal/anthropological interpretation is a familial/tribal system wherein men make most of the decisions and take the responsibility, esp. in a family or in a state. I don’t view male power and fatherhood as negative things or conducive to oppressing women. I do believe in oppression, but it’s more complex than women being oppressed by men and men benefiting from it.
What do I mean by that? Though we vie for them, dream about a women-ruled world, women-leaders usually don’t become the wonderful compassionate people we expect them to be. India has had a few female prime ministers, each have been accused of pretty bad crimes. Margaret Thatcher is still rejected by many people for leaving them in poverty and pain. And the less we say about Sarah Palin the better. The point is, if you believe in true equality, it doesn’t matter if a woman is the leader or a man is. They have the same potential for both good and evil. Again an undercurrent of “women are better than men” is present.
Now to the femen part. Only sort of recently has femen really gained any popularity, it’s kind of been bubbling underneath European apathy. To be honest the same problem lies here as with other “victimhood” scenarios. The women protest topless, I assume using what they feel is their “sexual prowess”(traditional female attributes) to direct the public gaze at serious issues. This isn’t bad in itself, it is just completely ineffective and counterproductive.This assumes that the audience is too stupid and sex-crazed to pay attention to clothed women. The issues take the back stage to the loud “liberation” of the women and often presented in a backwards way. Take the recent “topless jihad”. It brought attention to the issue of “Islamism” or the harshness of the laws in some Islamic countries, but it obviously offended Muslim women because the logic used was “Islam is evil, women are not evil, therefore you are brainwashed into Islam and must be freed from your delusions”. Thus reducing Muslim women’s sense of agency and spiritual choices.
Let me step back into my personal experience-As a “spiritual” person I do not choose to believe anything, I just know. No matter how many times I deny it- I know, I feel, I experience. As feminist-atheists I understand your assertions that religion is evil, but no matter how loud you shout, how many crosses you saw in half, and what symbols you use as shock value- you do not reduce anyone’s “belief” in anything and you are just saying what we already know about countries with harsh laws.
Here again is the problem with modern feminism, the supporters don’t really care what YOU think, what YOUR morals actually are-they just want to you to know “fuck you”.”Fuck you, you’re evil” “Fuck your religion” “Fuck your traditions” “Fuck your values”. This doesn’t empower anyone but them and makes them feel like the best people ever for condemning whoever they want.
I don’t take issue with femen-ists exposing their breasts or gathering in protest. I agree that the stigma around female breasts is ridiculous and exhausting. However the message of peace is not spread with aggression. Standing in front of a mosque, burning a flag, or screaming at people who just want to pray in a mosque is not spreading peace and love and understanding. Love spreads love. Anger only makes your opposition stronger and makes you look the fool.
Why? There is something called audience receptivity, and when you immediately get loud and angry you alienate the audience, Not caring about alienating your audience misses the whole point of a protest or a movement- to get people on your side!
This is why the nonviolent civil rights movement was so successful and accomplished lasting change, it was inclusive and didn’t really get angry or fight anyone. Ghandi marched with whoever would join him, the early feminists sought the support of men. They didn’t try to blame anyone directly. THAT is what I feel we are missing from feminists today, the solution, not the blame.
A veces, me digo "Puedo hablar español, ¡es muy facil!" Entonces escucho a las personas que lo habla muy bien y rápidamente--que usa las formas variosas de verbos y que usa mucho vocabulario que no sé. Entonces me digo "Nope."
To all those who don’t think the rape joke was a problem, or rape jokes are a problem.
I get it, you’re a decent guy. I can even believe it. You’ve never raped anybody. You would NEVER rape anybody. You’re upset that all these feminists are trying to accuse you of doing something or connect you to doing something that, as far as you’re concerned, you’ve never done and would never condone.
And they’ve told you about triggers, and PTSD, and how one in six women is a survivor, and you get it. You do. But you can’t let every time someone gets all upset get in the way of you having a good time, right?
So fine. If all those arguments aren’t going anything for you, let me tell you this. And I tell you this because I genuinely believe you mean it when you say you don’t want to hurt anybody, and you don’t see the harm, and that it’s important to you to do your best to be a decent and good person. And I genuinely believe you when you say you would never associate with a rapist and you think rape really is a very bad thing.
Because this is why I refuse to take rape jokes sitting down-
6% of college age men, slightly over 1 in 20, will admit to raping someone in anonymous surveys, as long as the word “rape” isn’t used in the description of the act.
6% of Penny Arcade’s target demographic will admit to actually being rapists when asked.
A lot of people accuse feminists of thinking that all men are rapists. That’s not true. But do you know who think all men are rapists?
They really do. In psychological study, the profiling, the studies, it comes out again and again.
Virtually all rapists genuinely believe that all men rape, and other men just keep it hushed up better. And more, these people who really are rapists are constantly reaffirmed in their belief about the rest of mankind being rapists like them by things like rape jokes, that dismiss and normalize the idea of rape.
If one in twenty guys is a real and true rapist, and you have any amount of social activity with other guys like yourself, really cool guy, then it is almost a statistical certainty that one time hanging out with friends and their friends, playing Halo with a bunch of guys online, in a WoW guild, or elsewhere, you were talking to a rapist. Not your fault. You can’t tell a rapist apart any better than anyone else can. It’s not like they announce themselves.
But, here’s the thing. It’s very likely that in some of these interactions with these guys, at some point or another someone told a rape joke. You, decent guy that you are, understood that they didn’t mean it, and it was just a joke. And so you laughed.
And, decent guy who would never condone rape, who would step in and stop rape if he saw it, who understands that rape is awful and wrong and bad, when you laughed?
That rapist who was in the group with you, that rapist thought that you were on his side. That rapist knew that you were a rapist like him. And he felt validated, and he felt he was among his comrades.
You. The rapist’s comrade.
And if that doesn’t make you feel sick to your stomach, if that doesn’t make you want to throw up, if that doesn’t disturb you or bother you or make you feel like maybe you should at least consider not participating in that kind of humor anymore…
Well, maybe you aren’t as opposed to rapists as you claim.
Time-Machine (via a comment at shakesville.com)
Single greatest argument about this I have ever heard.
I don’t feel sick because I’m supposedly “the rapist’s comrade,” I feel sick because the message of this piece is so mixed that it must have been put on “Frappe” in the blender. It essentially says that we should feel guilty because we’re responsible for someone’s actions. It at first comes off as something comforting towards men who feel terrible about some things their gender has done, but then it twists a knife in their back. It at first says that a man has no reason to feel guilty for telling/laughing at such jokes, but then it says “just kidding, you really do suck.”
No one is responsible for a person’s actions except the person who committed them. The Beatles didn’t conspire to kill nine people, nor did they create a cult. The Beatles released the White Album. Charles Manson conspired to kill nine people, and he created a cult. Rape is terrible, and I’m not keen on rape jokes. I wish people would stop shaming those that find these jokes funny though. Even if these people end up offending others, they shouldn’t be shamed. They are not responsible for how people react. They are only responsible for what they said. If they feel guilty later on their own volition, that’s fine and dandy, and I hope they feel better soon. However, guilting someone to feel remorse over a mere joke is antagonistic; not cool.
People will disagree with me, and say I’m a monster. I don’t care. No one should be unjustly antagonized.
I’m not entirely sure outside of the two assumptions that it will probably see someone who is either an unknown or someone who is up in coming.
That being so, I would like the following actors to stay far away from being the Doctor:
Benedict Cumberbatch Tom Hiddleston Richard Armitage Daniel Radcliffe and any other Brit who already has a name for themself.
Nothing against these actors personally. I love all four of them in the roles I have seen them in. However, I believe the Doctor should be an actor who has yet to really prove themself in the acting world, or someone who isn’t the forefront of the acting world. With Sherlock and Star Trek (and soon The Hobbit 2 and 3), The Thor and Avenger films, The Hobbit films, and the Harry Potter films, all four of these actors are still “too famous” by my tastes to be the Doctor. I’d actually prefer Karl Pilkington to be the Doctor to those four. However, no matter who the Doctor is, I’m sure I’ll love the pick at some point in time.
Being sexist means to discriminate someone based on gender. Putting a character into a gender role isn’t sexism, but a replication of what we humans do everyday in life. Men and women are different, and that’s absolutely fantastic. If one could do well without the other, we’d be a sex short on this planet. That would be a terrible loss.
A Letter to Whomever Languishes in Ardorous Feelings Towards a Friend
I have also languished in this field where naught but the golden rose grows, but my sickly eyes view the gold as crimson. Having spent far too many months in such a field, a moment of clarity such as now is rare as the blue moon in February.
Now that I have my poeticness of my thoughts typed out, I will drop these pretensions. I’ve been reading The Great Gatsby, and its style has a beat that joins that of my hearSTOP IT. Ugh, my fingers drip with purple. Sigh, anywho, today I will be sharing some of my thoughts of the fictitious friendzone, and what I will assume to be my final exit from it.
Aquarius – Bring out the Brain Teasers and get ready for a few rounds of intellectual stimulation with your Aquarian because if there’s a future for you both, intelligence, adventure, challenges and creativity will win their heart for sure.
Pisces – Grab a big coffee, snuggle up on the couch and get into a deep conversation about spirituality or astrology and if you’ve got problems in your life, even better! Share all the details as Pisces are very attracted to people who need help to solve their personal problems.
As a Taurus, I think making a meal for anyone will incite some kind of positive emotion, especially if the meal is something that is presented really well and tastes exquisite. As for the “slow to fall in love” thing, it really depends on the person being viewed. If it’s someone I’m more likely to find attractive, I’ll fall for them sooner than someone I find less attractive.
let me just point out that the only thing i would be legitimately angry over about yahoo taking over tumblr, is if they get rid of any and all porn.
yeah i know that not everyone looks at porn, and a lot of people want it all gone, but really. suck it up.
tumblr is one of the few places that allow free porn. and not everyone has to look at porn blogs on here, you dont have to follow something you dont want to follow. hell, thats why i made my own porn blog, so none of y’all would have to see it if ya didnt want to.
most of the blogs on here are porn blogs, and a lot of people that have them upload their own content in order to keep it all together. because holy shit have you had a subscription to a porn site lately? thats a lot of money. especially if you want to maybe upload something on it not even every other month.
so why dont y’all take a step back and stop trying to beg them to get rid of the porn blogs.
cause once again. you only think of yourselves. you guys can download a blacklist program or what not if it bothers you so much.